RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

The Bolthole's monthly 1,000 word story competition.

RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby J D Dunsany » Sun Apr 24, 2011 8:46 am

VOTING IS NOW OPEN

It's been a good, if slightly quieter month this month. No multiple entries to think about and, consequently, no nomination period. So, we'll go straight to voting...

You have 4 votes to cast and you need to do so by posting your preferences in descending order - your first choice is listed first, second choice is listed second etc. Points will be awarded in the following manner:

1st place will get 5 points
2nd place will get 3 points
3rd place will get 2 points
4th place will get 1 point

The votes will be totaled up at the end of the competition and the winner (or winners) crowned and their story (or stories) enshrined in the winners' thread. In the event of a tie, all tied entries will win and earn a place in the thread.

Please be clear in your voting and please use all your votes.

If you have any questions, feel free to post them here. If you haven't already commented on the story thread, feel free to do so here.

The voting deadline is 2100BST on Friday 6th May. The story thread can be found here.

Let the voting begin!

JDD
JDD story of the moment: Glory
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby Stuart000X » Sun Apr 24, 2011 9:00 am

When are you going to announce the next competition's themeword?
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby Phalanx » Sun Apr 24, 2011 10:53 am

1st: Names - Ballistichimp
2nd: Offering - Tyrant
3rd: The Finer Things - Raziel4707
4th: Sacrafice - Gundi da Grot
Last edited by Phalanx on Sun Apr 24, 2011 3:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby Stuart000X » Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:05 am

Story Index




Page 1 viewtopic.php?f=21&t=322



Gulliman’s Folly – Squiggle

Will You Have Beans With That? – Stuart000X

A Human Moment – Phalanx

Blessed For The Omnissiah – Atlantic



Page 2 viewtopic.php?f=21&t=322&start=20



Just One – LordLucan

For The Greater Good! – Jelboy



Page 3 viewtopic.php?f=21&t=322&start=40



The Finer Things – Raziel4707

Sacrafice – Gundi da Grot

As The Fires Burn – Commander Shadow



Page 4 viewtopic.php?f=21&t=322&start=60



Offering – Tyrant

Names – Ballistichimp


Page 5 viewtopic.php?f=21&t=322&start=80



Victory Or Death - DarthDrac

Die With Honor _ Shogun_Nate



###





There in total 13 entries thus far in the competition.
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby Tyrant » Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:35 am

Shogun_Nate (Die With Honor): A great entry, my one problem is that I don't know which chapter the marine was from......very well-written though and will probably get a vote from me when I get around to actually voting!
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Valerion

I think Valerion could stand toe-to-toe with the best of Gaunt's Ghosts. I loved it. Gundi Da Grot

The sense of threat that permeates the entire piece is fantastic. xrayex

Tash'shi is made of win and awesome. Raziel4707
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby shadowhawk2008 » Sun Apr 24, 2011 12:11 pm

First Place: Victory or Death / DarthDrac

Second Place: Offering / Tyrant

Third Place: Guilliman's Folly / Squiggle

Fourth Place: A Human Moment / Phalanx
Last edited by shadowhawk2008 on Sun Apr 24, 2011 1:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby DarthDrac » Sun Apr 24, 2011 12:11 pm

1st: Offering – Tyrant
2nd: Names – Ballistichimp
3rd: Blessed For The Omnissiah – Atlantic
4th: For The Greater Good! – Jelboy
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby J D Dunsany » Sun Apr 24, 2011 12:49 pm

Just a quick reminder to post both the name of the author and the title of his/her entry when voting. Of the three people to vote so far, only one has managed to do this! I'm not trying to be pedantic, but it helps no end when it comes to totting up points - and even then, mistakes occasionally get made... :oops:

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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby shadowhawk2008 » Sun Apr 24, 2011 1:13 pm

J D Dunsany wrote:Just a quick reminder to post both the name of the author and the title of his/her entry when voting. Of the three people to vote so far, only one has managed to do this! I'm not trying to be pedantic, but it helps no end when it comes to totting up points - and even then, mistakes occasionally get made... :oops:

JDD


Done good sir! ;)
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby Shogun_Nate » Sun Apr 24, 2011 2:49 pm

Tyrant wrote:Shogun_Nate (Die With Honor): A great entry, my one problem is that I don't know which chapter the marine was from......very well-written though and will probably get a vote from me when I get around to actually voting!


Thanks! That would be the chapter I created twelve years ago called the "Void Stalkers" (not to be confused with evil xeno-filth battleships or Brett DeWald's Void Reapers ;) ) :D . Even managed to win a Create a Chapter contest done by GW back a long time ago (I received a shiny certificate and everything LOL). Twenty-plus pages of background and twelve years later, it's still a work in progress :roll:

Good luck and good writing,

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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby Jelboy » Sun Apr 24, 2011 3:23 pm

Hey Guys, here's my scribbly feedback (I'm sure my ability to feedback will improve in time :-) )

Gullimans folly - Squiggle

An interesting story about the Pale Custodians, an Ultramarine successor chapter on the fringes of Imperial space who tackle the unglorious tough work (that someone has to do) to defend the fringes of the Imperium. Very well written, though containing the odd sentences that causes dissonance in my mind, such as: our gauntlets ringing together in unsolicited and unplanned applause'. Look to hear more about this overlooked, under-appreciated poorer cousin of the Smurfs.


Will you have beans with that? - Stuartxxx
A darkly humorous tale with an original idea for mine cleaning (that possibly touches on the realistic boundaries of what brutality even the Imperium of man are capable of). Large chunks of good writing that describes a sociopathic commanders use of the civilian population to win the war.

A Human Moment - Phalanx
Great narrative description spliced with technical knowledge of a Space Marines armour and equipment make this a realistic, technicolour read. Realistic characterisation, inner and outer dialogue. Good tension and the sense of possible alternate endings make this a fantastic-read (but I have sortta read it before)

Just One - Lord Lucan
Fantastic imagery that makes me wonder what kinda baccy you use in your pipe ;-) . Action packed sequences with a sense that more than Akkaeviir's life is at stake, that he balances on the edge of both reality and sanity. A fine tale of descent into the crumblng Eldar empire, a descent into hell, to save one young soul. The story of how one Eldar cast his own fate for the Farseers to read. Well done! (slight downside for me - there's been a few tales recently focused on innocent young uns).

The Finer Things - Raziel4707
Against a backdrop of subtle narrative description, this inner and outer dialogue driven tale captivated me from start to finish. Each sentence was thick with nuance which had me analyzing possible meanings, and the twist was excellently conceived. All in all a fine tale that cast the Tau with shades of gray, and portrayed loyalist extremism realistically.

Blessed of the Omnissiah - Atlantic
A truly horrific tale, not only in what becomes of the protagonist but why: the machine failed because of old-age and the protagonist was blamed because 'humans fail, not machines'. I think you could have probably left this bit out for further effect: Powerful soporifics flooded his veins. But still, a tale that captures the true horror of 40k.

Sacrafice - by Gundi da Grot
Another conversation over a drink, with a twist! This time the heretics win out and a las pistol deals the death. I found this an entertaining story that shows the heretics don't always have to be raving lunes screaming blood for the blood god, but can rather be cultured, intelligent and cunning.

As the Fire burns - By Commander Shadow
The most disturbing tale of the lot, for me, truly horrific WH40k, which would have figured in my voting if given a more thorough editing. Who is the sacrifice here, Stram or the Psyker? I interpret it as the psyker being the conduit, but the real sacrifice, the real 'offering to the gods' is Stram - the only other living man atop the mangled pyre of corpses. This story was an unpolished diamond.

Offering - Tyrant
So this is how the Emperor gets replenished, in all its true, horrific, detail? This was a grimly enjoyable tale that gave clues to its nature as one read. The real clever bit for me was the 'characterization' twist at the end. A psyker actually welcomed merging with the Emperor, welcomed being sacrificed - that was good.

Names - by Ballistchimp
Some absolutely sublime writing, full of original background and setting, and rich with detail. An enticing structure to the tale, with its 1, 2, 3, beat, etc made me want to devour more, and learn what was happening. I had to reread the story twice to try to comprehend exactly what was happening (not necessarily a sign of a bad tale), but even then I wasn't sure of the plot. I think your explanation that each victim was one step closer to the final victim, and new disguise to wear highlighted to me what a totally compleat tale this was. Several people were sacrificed here, by the Imperium, for the sake of one greater target.

Victory or Death by DarcDrac
An interesting tale concerning the post-Isstvan Raven guard, and their imperfect seed. Generally well-written and full of the intrigue and background fluff I like.

Die with Honour - Shogunate
it's good to see humans doing the difficult jobs for once, doesn't always have to be a marine does it. Although, at the end, you resort to a marine to save the day :-). Not a space marine expert, I wasn't sure totally what marine saved the day, and why. I guessed Night Lord. It turned out to be Void Stalkers!


Votes:
1. The Finer Things - Raziel4707
2. Names - by Ballistchimp
3. Just One - Lord Lucan
4. A Human Moment - Phalanx

As per last time, the voting was tight, for me, and on another day and in another mood everyone on the scoring ladder I created for all the entrants could have moved up or down a few pegs (where possible).
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby Shogun_Nate » Sun Apr 24, 2011 3:52 pm

Howdy folks!

First off, all of these stories are awesome. You all did a fine job on them. Each one touched on the theme in a unique way and all were enjoyable to read. As for my choices, they've taken me a while to decide upon but here I go:

1st Place - Offering -Tyrant
I would have called this the Tragic Triumph of Humanity. When I read a story that gives me goosebumps, I know it's a really good story (that last line gave me chills, especially in context with the violent/sad nature of the story). The story you tell is one of real sacrifice. Excellent job!

2nd Place - For the Greater Good - Jelboy
Out of all of them, this one was the most fun to read. I loved how you took such a deep theme like sacrifice and "Orky-fied" it up!

3rd Place - Sacrafice - Gundi da Grot
Intrigue, deception and murder! If it had taken place on the "Armageddon Express", I would have expected a short Belgian with a funny mustache! A fine piece of work molded to fit the theme!

4th Place - The Finer Things - Raziel4707
A good, old-fashioned story of Imperialist fanaticism combined with a double-cross. I enjoyed this one.

Side note: I'll be back later to go over each story. Sadly, I'm out of time this morning but I should have a review up of each of the stories tomorrow.

Excellent work all around folks!

Good luck and good writing,

Nate
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby Raziel4707 » Sun Apr 24, 2011 7:39 pm

1st - Offering, Tyrant

2nd - Blessed For The Omnissiah – Atlantic

3rd - Gulliman’s Folly – Squiggle

4th - Just One – LordLucan
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby Tyrant » Tue Apr 26, 2011 9:44 am

My votes:

1) Raziel4707: The Finer Things

2) Ballistichimp: Names

3) LordLucan: Just One

4) Jelboy: For The Greater Good!
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I think Valerion could stand toe-to-toe with the best of Gaunt's Ghosts. I loved it. Gundi Da Grot

The sense of threat that permeates the entire piece is fantastic. xrayex

Tash'shi is made of win and awesome. Raziel4707
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby Atlantic » Tue Apr 26, 2011 6:57 pm

1. Stuart - 'Will You Have Beans with That?'
2. LL - 'Just One'
3. Chimp - 'Names'
4. Raz - 'The Finer Things'
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby Rob P » Wed Apr 27, 2011 9:28 pm

1st: The Finer Things - Raziel4707.

Spot on.

2nd: Offering - Tyrant

I'm jealous of this story. I have a similar concept noted with a slightly different execution and POV. Very good.

3rd: Names - Ballistichimp

I liked the use of the theme and the fluidity.

4th: Sacrafice - Gundi da Grot.

Pleasure to read. I would suggest that Tanith/Sabbat references were switched to something made up. They make the universe feel very small, but otherwise I liked it.
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby Bane Of Kings » Thu Apr 28, 2011 7:41 pm

Even though I never entered, I thought I might as well cast my vote.

1st - Offering - Tyrant
2nd - Names - Ballistichimp
3rd - Just One - Lord Lucan
4th - Guilliman's Folly - Squiggle
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby Commander Shadow » Thu Apr 28, 2011 9:20 pm

1. The finer things- Raziel
2. Just one- LL
3. Guilliman's Folly- Squiggle
4.Offerings- Tyrant
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby Gundi da Grot » Tue May 03, 2011 12:40 am

If I don't get a chance to offer proper comments this month, I wanted to at least get my votes in...

1. Offering by Tyrant
This was just perfectly grim and dark 40K. Well-written, compelling, wonderfully descriptive and satisfying to read.

2. Names by Ballistichimp
Really, really awesome. The storytelling here was top notch and the writing spot on.

3. Victory or Death by DarthDrac
I really enjoyed this one. I was a bit put out that Istvael outfought Corax, but the great characterization and cleverness of the story overcame this peculiarity.

4. The Finer Things by Raz
A really clever and very readable story with a nice twist.

The competition in these competitions has become fierce, and the quality of writing is superb. Bravo to everyone!
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Re: RiaR April/May VOTING THREAD

Postby Stuart000X » Tue May 03, 2011 8:56 am

Does anyone know when the next competition's themeword is going to be announced?
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