by Kentigern » Fri Feb 02, 2018 3:12 pm
Ignite
“Wotz dat?”
Skrashnik’s face was scrunched up in what passed for concentration for him, clearly a painful experience. He was examining the range of gubbins and wotnotz which Big Mek Frunk had constructed in the hanger.
“Dat, ya stinkin’ grot, is a thingamabobbin. It’s probably the bestest weapon eva’ made by an Ork before. You should be grateful you is here for this moment ya squig dropping.”
Skrashnik nodded enthusiastically, clearly desperate to give the impression that he knew what was going on. “Yeah boss, I can see dat. But wot does it do?”
The Big Mek’s face lit up with maniacal joy as he mimicked an explosion with his oil soaked hands. “It blows stuff up. All da stuff. I’ve connected it to the oil fields da Humies are hiding on. Press da big button and ‘kablam’ – bye bye humies!”
Frunk started to laugh, the noise booming around the hanger. Skrashnik stared at him silently for a while, until the Big Mek’s angry glare startled the Grot out of his incomprehension.
“Oh boss, dat is ‘mazing, you gonna be leading a Waagh dead soon. Humies won’t know what’s hit them.”
Krunk smirked an evil smirk. “I know. And den da boyz will see I’m way better than Warboss Mansquisher, and dey will follow me.”
He allowed himself a briefer period of frenzied laughing, keen to get on with destroying things.
“Right, we press dis button and the humies go boom. Do you want to do it Skrashnik?”
The Grot’s face lit up with joy, frantic excitement making his whole body shake.
“Really boss? You’d let me do that? I’m honoured, this is the biggest day of my life, I’ve never been so…”
Frunk backhanded the gibbering Grot across the room, laughing cruelly. “Of course I’m not going to let you press da button ya dumb Grot, you’d probably get it wrong. Dis one’s for me”
Turning to the control panel, he hovered his claw over the big red button. Skrashnik, cradling his bruised face, watched from the window at the far side of the hanger, excitement to see the humies below explode outweighing the pain of his face.
“Countdown!” shouted Frunk. “Ten…nine…eh…free…eh…oh frak that!”
He pressed the button exultantly, the sound of explosions rumbling through, followed by the screams of burning enemies. What a triumph, what glory he would face, what…
Skrashnik suddenly piped up. “Boss, nuffin seems to be happening to da humies.” He scratched his head, attempting to think. “Eh, boss…didn’t Warboss Mansquisher capture the oil fields yesterday?”
Krunk glared at the grot, violent intentions emanating from his body. “And?”
The Grot gulped nervously. “Well, if the oil fields were covered in Mansquisher and our boyz, den you have blown them up, which means….means…dat you are now da Warboss?”
Krunk smiled. “You are right! I’m now da boss. Told you dis weapon was da best. Nuffin to it. Now let’s go find ourselves some new boys, I fink the other ones might be a bit burnt now…”
Good guys go to heaven.
Bad guys send them there.